The world is populated with fictional characters. An endless list, from Ali Baba to Robert Zimmerman. Names we are more familiar with than our neighbour's. Everywhere we don't look, Santa lurks. The Tooth Fairy slides her moneyed hands under your pillow and into your dreams. Jesus is in every school. People who don't exist are becoming the newest majority, and we may not stand a ghost of a chance.
Like Jacob Marley and his knockers we are haunted by the spirits we consume, and we find them dry.
Christmas past and Christmas presents. Every box we open contains a plethora of Pandora's chocolates. Take a bite. Every savoury filling was made by someone who doesn't exist. Moist and creamy, the sweet trickle of flavour slides down our throat, making our bells jingle and filling our stockings with something to tell the Baby New Year not to do.
We love Thor's day, and the promise of soon being hammered. It is the rabbit test of holidays, especially Easter and its bunnies. Hugh Hefner has been bed hopping for years, and though his tales are fluffy, men prick up their ears at the thought. Though we never expect it to happen, sometimes a Delilah or a Mata Hari walks into our life and we are screwed.
Shadows hide underneath every light, and they all have names. Real or imagined, every person you know is in some way haunted by the ghosts of every person, he or she, has ever known. My only word of caution...
Wear a condom.
DaBuoy
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